Work Week

Well, we all survived my first week back at work.  In all honesty, the week went so much better than I expected.  EC did great with her schedule, with naps, with bottles and with the nanny.  She was not phased one bit!

I felt a little bit overwhelmed and rushed.  It seemed like I was rushing to get ready, rushing to get our house picked up (we don’t want to show the nanny all of our crazy just yet), rushing to get to work and rushing home to see EC (and Jeremy!).  Pumping at work twice a day is not ideal, but it’s going okay.  My wiser friends tell me that it gets better with time.  We’ll see about that! 

I feel like this is some sort of milestone in my life and EC’s short little life.  For four months, we both just knew me staying at home and taking care of her.  I’m a working mom now!  I always want to remember how sweet it was spending all my days with her, but also how excited I am about the personal challenge of taking on a new job in a new industry.  It’s a mix of excitement, sadness, scared, happy, and a smidge of guilt all at once! 

More and more, I see that this mix of emotion is a constant on this journey of motherhood.  I think it’s about finding a balance.  And when I figure out exactly how to balance it all- I’ll write a whole post about it!  And maybe a book that I can sell?!?!

My Dear Emmeline-

I returned to work this week and it was so hard leaving you!  I missed seeing you wake up from your naps and tummy time and reading you stories and all your perfect little tricks.  I hope you will always know that you are my priority and I (along with your dad) wouldn’t have made the decision to return to work if I didn’t think it was absolutely best for our family.  The four months that I spent at home with you are so very precious to me and I am immensely thankful that we had that time together. 

When you grow up and have a career and a family, I want you to be able to make the choice that is best for your family.  I hope that you can see that there are so many options for a young woman and there isn’t really a right or wrong.  It’s about what works for you! 

Knowing all of this doesn’t make it any easier to leave you each morning, but I know that it’s what needs to happen right now.  I also believe that God gave me this opportunity and has worked out all the details so perfectly.  This transition has been even better that I could have imagined and I can’t forget to thank Him for orchestrating each step along the way.  I know that you are in good hands each day and I’m really thankful for that.  It makes me feel a little less worried about you.

Coming home to you each day is the highlight of the day for me and your dad!  We love seeing your big smile.  It could be my imagination, but your smiles for us always seem brighter when we’ve been away from you for a bit.  We absolutely adore you! 

Love,

Your mom