Heartbroken.

We are simply heartbroken.  In the hours that have followed the bad news, we keep repeating that this all seems like a very bad dream.  Ivy was happy and playful all day Friday.  It came without warning.


How did it all go wrong so fast?

I fully realize that there are many tragedies facing families in our country right now- devastating tragedies that I probably don't even comprehend.  I want to move forward, but it's really hard.  Ivy was literally like a member of our family.  Jeremy and I picked her up about 3 months after we were married and she's been with us ever since. To hotels, on vacations, visiting family, moving to Nashville, OKC, and Fort Worth- we took her everywhere.  And she loved traveling and seeing people.  In many ways, Ivy was like our first kid.  We absolutely adored her!

We brought her to Abilene and buried her at the ranch.  She loved it there.

She had so much personality and life and love.  We also keep saying- we wish that we would have known, we wish that we would have known it was our last time to see her, take her on a walk, her last road trip, get a big wet kiss from her.  But isn't that true of life?

If we had only known . . . there are a number of things we would do differently.  That's just not that way it works. 

It's a reminder to hold tight to what is precious and say all those important things because you never know when you might not get that chance.  Life is short. 

I know that in a few days (maybe weeks for me), we will move on.  We will know a new normal without her. Of course, we will never forget Ivy, but the pain will fade.   But we can't forget that none of us is guaranteed tomorrow.  It's up to each of us to make the most of today and live life to the fullest. 

Putting our faith in God and knowing that He is in control is what gets us through.  Over the past few months, I feel like I've had a lifetime's worth of lessons in control.  It's a true struggle for me.  I try to plan and prepare for every possible scenario.  We took Ivy to the vet regularly, gave her special food for her allergies-- we even had her microchipped in case she got lost.  There are some things in life that we can't prepare for and you can't plan around some things.  It's hard admitting that.  Admitting that it's in God's hands and He knows what is best for us.

If we knew how it would all end, would we have done it any way?  Yes.

We never could have resisted that 3 pound white puff ball, even if we would have known the tragedy of today.