Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Meeting PaPa

While we were in Abilene over the weekend, Emmeline got to meet my PaPa, her Great PaPa, for the first time.  I think it's safe to say- he was smitten.  He held her for such a long time and it was so sweet.

He told us lots of stories about my dad when he was little and my dad, Papa and I remarked on how much my MaMa would have loved meeting Emme and getting to know her.  They would have adored one another! 

We laughed about how different things are with kids now and how much technology has advanced.  He talked about my dad riding in the cab of their pickup truck- standing up!  No car seat, not even a seat belt.  He had to stand up so he could see out the window.  PaPa said he would hold his arm across him if he had to stop short.  Ha!  I don't think I would make it down my block with Emme standing on the front seat before someone would be reporting me.

I love that these two finally got to meet!  PaPa has been such an important person in my life and I know Emmeline will feel the same way!


UPDATE ON IVY:
We are making it.  Coming back home has been really hard, because there are SO many reminders that she's not here.  Every time I see a dog on tv, I look over for Ivy to start barking.  At night when we go to bed, I still wait for Ivy to put her legs up and whine, so we can pull her into bed with us.  In some ways, our house seems so empty and quiet. 

Winnie is so sad- she walks around looking for her and just sighs, and lays down.  She's getting better each day, but she lost her best friend and it's just going to take time to move forward.  We are trying to keep her routine as close to normal as possible.

I want to tell you that I'm fine and that I'm over it, but that's not quite accurate.  I'm not sure why this adjustment has been so hard.  Probably the combination- emotional, little sleep, the suddenness, the shock, and so so much change in the past few months.  My mind keeps replaying the images of me trying to help her while Jeremy was on his way to pick her up, seeing her so small and scared at the vet clinic and picturing her all alone when she passed.  I wanted better for her.  And it's hard not to focus on what could or should have been different about the whole ordeal. 

I listened to a sermon by Matt Chandler (Leaving) and it was a really great perspective.  I encourage you to check it out.  Of course, he was talking about people dying and I don't want to act like Ivy is the same as losing a spouse, child, parent or sibling, etc.  But Matt said- "No one [or dog] dies early."  It's God's plan and our human perspective might think we got robbed of a few years or cheated out of life, but God knows what he's doing and when our work is done, it's time.  It was Ivy's time- her business was finished here.   

That doesn't mean we won't be sad or grieve, but we can't keep clinging to the what if it had been different.  Each day is better and we will get through this.  Thank you so much for all of our sweet comments and for helping us to remember all that was good about sweet Ivy.

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